Learning to Go Slow — Helping Your Anxious Dog One Step at a Time

If you’ve ever lived with a dog who struggles with anxiety, you know it’s not always a simple fix. And yet, for some reason, we often expect them to “just know” how to handle new situations or challenges. We think, “Why are you barking at that stroller again?” or “We’ve done this walk a hundred times, what’s the problem now?” I’ve been guilty of that kind of thinking too.

But the truth is, just like people, dogs need time. They need reassurance. And more than anything, they need us to be patient as they figure things out in a world that can feel overwhelming to them.

With one of my dogs, anxiety shows up like clockwork. New sounds, fast movements, unfamiliar places—it all becomes too much. And for a while, I felt like I was failing him. Like I wasn’t doing enough. But I’ve learned (and I’m still learning) that helping an anxious dog is a slow and steady process. It’s not about “fixing” them. It’s about guiding them, one baby step at a time - & always have treats.

We started small. Sometimes the “win” for the day was just stepping through a doorway without a full-blown panic. Other days, it was making it past a neighbor’s house without pulling or freezing. Some mornings it was building confidence & trust through play (like with this flirt pole). These might sound like tiny victories, but for an anxious dog, they are massive.

And on days where things go backwards—and they will—I remind myself that growth isn’t linear. We don’t expect people with anxiety to just “get over it,” so why would we expect that from our dogs?

I’ve also found that my energy matters more than I realized. If I’m tense or frustrated, they feel it. But if I soften, take a breath, and offer calm reassurance, it changes the tone entirely. I’m not perfect at it (who is?), but I try. Every day, I try to show up as a steady presence.

So if you’re walking this road too, know this: You’re not alone. And neither is your dog. Progress might be slow, but it’s real. You’re building trust, confidence, and a deeper bond with every step.

Go slow. Celebrate the small wins. And remember—they’re trying their best.

And so are you.